Cutty

As this year draws to a close, I can therefore say that 2021 has been good to us.  It is definitely better than 2020.  There were hardships, but comfort and convenience were in abundance too.  I found out who I can depend on and who were there just for show.  There were realizations that I learned to accept.  I learned to accept each person's limitations, when to challenge their boundaries, when to observe and when to take over.  Decisions were made.  Issues were resolved.   I do not want to jinx it, but, 2021 is bliss compared to 2020. 2022 holds a lot of promise.  New opportunities are coming.  It is time to set new goals and follow through goals that weren't met. 2022, please be good to us.

Christmas in Europe.  I want to visit the Christmas markets, see the wonderful gigantic trees and taste the local Christmas fare.  I can just imagine the smell of pine and winter chill. I've seen EU in spring, summer and autumn, but never in winter.  It will happen next year.  I can feel it in my bones.  

Vic and I would go on walks after dinner.  It is much cooler, less crowded and we can remove our masks.  We'd see houses and their Christmas decors.  We'd see nice trimmings that we'd like to add on to our own home some day. We'd also see houses that were flood-stricken, houses that seemed unable to recover from Ondoy and Ulysses. These days, it is not enough to have money to build your own house.  We have to set aside funds for upkeep and maintenance.  Owning a house doesn't end with building it.  The expenses never end.  There should also be Plan B for incidents that warrant emergency repairs.   It is a sad realization.  But, it is also a lesson worth remembering.  

Answered prayers are unexpected blessings.  This Sunday was just about that.   ---------- Recent realizations about family have been a cause of worry for me these past few days.  I've lost some sleep over it.  I've prayed hard about it.  But, Sunday lunch was a testament of God's answer to my prayers.  It is far from resolved.  But, we will get there eventually.  A lot of good came from patience, understanding, compassion and humility. ------------ A visit to my in-laws also proved to be a blessing, too.  I've been meaning to purchase a new phone, to replace my 3 year-old one.  But, we've been gifted with a very good unit.   I believe my savings will remain just as it is.   I wasn't expecting this and it feels great to be on the receiving end once in a while.  

The house in the outskirts of Tagaytay is one of the few things left behind by my late MIL.  She furnished the house a couple of years before she succumb to cancer.  She was the ultimate homemaker despite keeping her own corporate job.  She's had her fair share of bad relationships with house helpers but her homes were always immaculate.  They were well-furnished and clean.   The Tagaytay house was that.  It was furnished with things she liked and bought from her trips to Megamall or Venezia.  Her magazines, nearly 20 years old, are still there.  She'd visit the place once or twice a week, just to amuse herself after her retirement. My children never got to meet her.  Whenever we visit the house, which wasn't often, I'd tell my children that everything they see in that house was Mommy's.  You see her taste in style and furnishings in the things around this house.  She planted beautiful, lush plants that made the house warm and ...

How are you doing?  We often say that we are okay.  I feel that this time, I have no right to complain.  I am better off where I am.   But, are we really okay?   I guess the resilience of the Filipino is just carrying us through all these challenges.   When the Delta variant came into the scene, I felt that this is closing in on my tiny protected bubble.  The stress of having to deal with a more fierce virus, on top of everything else is starting to affect us. Thankfully, it is not a constant feeling. I heard that, eventually, this virus would come into every household.  It is just a matter of time.  Hmmm.  I refuse to believe that.  I will only allow it when it has been watered down to the common flu. ----------------------- I have started taking voice lessons with Chris in April.  Five months in, we've been noticing improvements in my vocal production and confidence while singing.  Chris has been very generou...

Putting on making for my video recordings has been a struggle lately.  Due to lack of practice, what used to be a 10-minute routine took forever to finish. I am not a professional make-up artist, but I get by when needed.   I was not happy with how the make-up appeared on the video.  I had to wash my face and re-apply a different foundation.  This time, I used a non-reflective one. I had forgotten that stage make-up is different from make-up for the camera.  Make-up for natural light is different from make-up intended for artificial light.   I guess, part of the struggle is having unmaintained skin.  As they say, good make up starts with a good base.  Being stuck at home, all I cared about was not having zits and allergies.  I've been lazy.   I am kind of regretting being inconsistent with my skincare.  I need to go back to my derma for treatments.  My age is also starting to show, so that is a reality I am tryin...

By definition, petiks  is  (slang) noun: in Filipino ( Tagalog ), referring to a  procrastinator  or a person who habitually unwinds.  Source:  urbandictionary.com ----------------------- I cherish days like today, yun " pa-petiks-petiks " lang.  When my children were younger, I never had similar days in abundance.  It was always rushing to do things or someone needs something.  Now that my children have become independent and can now entertain themselves, I find myself enjoying these petiks days.   Here's how I spent my petiks day. Christmas is only 4 months away.  Several months ago, I decided on getting more meaningful decors for our tree and not be swayed by trends.  I was able to get some ideas on how to style my tree for Christmas.  I have short-listed some gift ideas, too.  My Lazada cart is filled up too.  "Add to cart" is the motto of the day.  I'm bingeing on YouTube also.   What a...

          A year into the pandemic, the virus is still looming over us with no end in sight. Businesses are still struggling.  Another school year has begun for the kids.  Because of that, I have been granted some "muni-muni" time.             Sitting down at my desk, I realize that I have made giant leaps in one year.  It took a great deal of time management on my end.  It is rewarding to see how our home-schooling arrangement has benefited my children.  I have become a more patient parent-teacher.  I have implemented changes in the family business and I am seeing positive results.  I am now in the position to give help, rather than stay on the sidelines.  I have been taking voice lessons and I am noticing how I have improved over time.  I am on my way to financial independence and my spending habits are improving.  Weight and health management is still a work in prog...

It is okay to be kind.  Just don't let people abuse your kindness and generosity. Source:  https://boostupliving.com/powerful-quotes-for-inspirational-days/

When a family member gets sick, my world stops.  It is not because I am crippled by anxiety.  The mental load is heavier. I can function but my attention is divided.  It is so time-consuming that I can not do anything else. The endless waiting in the ER, the battery of tests to determine if it is an upper respiratory tract infection, UTI, Dengue or Covid, the monitoring of temperature.  Hay.  Whatever it is, we try to contain it so no one else gets it.  Otherwise, the cycle will not end. Now that things are going back to our new normal, I am trying my best to catch up.  The backlog is enormous.  But, I am glad that I am slowly ticking off items from my list.  

 We will never truly grasp the value of our parents until we become parents ourselves. Oftentimes, it is too late when we come to that realization.  My children helped bridge the gap between me and my father. I never knew what kind of superhero my mother was until I gave birth to my first child. Grandchildren can do wonders in a broken relationship.  This is why I sometimes wish that my siblings get to experience this while my parents are still around and mobile.  Maybe, they will realize that their world is bigger than their own selves.  That’s all for now, folks  

This question has been on my mind lately.  I've been feeling unmotivated since the workweek started.  I was able to overcome them in the past.  Now, this feeling has been coming back quite frequently.  It lingers too.  Is this cabin fever?  Is this quarantine-fatigue?   I do not know. I've been racking my mind for an answer to this question.  Here is what I came up with... ...Change of scenery.  I think I need to get out of this routine for a little while.  I desperately want to travel but I get anxious when I am around "unprotected" people. ...Good food.  I need a feast for the eyes and for the soul. ... Chocolates and Coffee.  The sugar and caffeine didn't help. ...Exercise.  I need to tire myself out.  Maybe the fatigue will reset everything. ... Essential oils.  These have been effective for me when it comes to stress management.  I have yet to find the one that would perk me up. ... Shopping. ...

Ever since the pandemic started, I haven't really attended any big gathering.  When I say big, I mean more than 20 people in a small enclosed space.  But, yesterday, I had to be present at such a gathering.  It was my cousin's wedding and I was asked to sing a few songs. I was surprised at how some people have such confidence in themselves that they are Covid-free and that they are not going to get the virus.  It was so alarming to see so many people in the wedding industry who have their masks improperly worn.  Photographers, musicians, sound technicians.  Some are completely without them in spite of constant reminders and big posters.  I was so nervous for myself and my family, most importantly for the newlyweds.  I couldn't bear staying in there that I had to step out.  That was when I realized I was weak and nearly shaking.  I was already regretting my decision to go to the reception.   Before settling down at the reception...

Have you ever wondered about the power of manifestation?  I was browsing through my feed and read something striking.  "Everything we have in our hands right now is a product of our minds." So, it is important to guard our thoughts.  It was then that I realized that everything around me really is a realization of what I truly prayed for.   I was reading up on it and I found this guide on manifesting.  I have compressed it into a list.  But, if you want to read more about it, scroll down to the source.  Maybe this will help you manifest what you want and need in your life. 1. Give yourself permission to want what you want. 2. Be really willing to receive. 3. Be willing to doubt your doubts. 4. Pick and choose who you share your dreams with. 5. Do your best to keep your vibration up. 6. Take inspired action. 7. Strive to rise above jealousy. 8. Use a mantra to deal with your current less-than-ideal situation. 9. Trust your soul’s path. 10. Do your i...

This pandemic has forced us to find joy and excitement in the simplest things.  The things we took for granted pre-pandemic give us a great deal of joy now.   What is my source of joy on a usual blah Thursday? ... a bottle of Toffee Nut Syrup for my coffee ... a long-overdue massage ... one-on-one coaching ... words of affirmation and appreciation ... words of encouragement ... organizing my closet space ... ripe mangoes ... mildly scented soaps ... successful food experiments  ... the anticipation of family gatherings in the coming days Gosh, now that I've listed them down, there are so many things to be grateful for.  What gave you joy today?

I am so proud of myself.  I've been restraining myself. Today, I went to the mall and visited my usual stops. I just bought what we needed: boxers for the eldest, sewing materials and groceries.  There were things that I liked but left them at the store.  Even the pair of boots that I've been eyeing was marked down.  I still didn't budge.  I knew that I have no use for them. I think I am getting good at this.   ----------------- So, what's going on in my head?  I remember hearing that people who have the means tend to be greedy.  If we keep on feeding that greed, it will never stop.  I never want to be greedy.   You know what they say, "nip it in the bud."

 I heard that they are paying people to get vaccinated in NYC.  In California, they do not require you to be a citizen to get vaccinated.  Once vaccines for children get approved in the US and this is still the policy, I will do not hesitate to pack up and leave. I know I haven't really thought this out.  What if there are untoward after-effects? There are still insurance coverage and travel SOPs to consider.   If you were in a similar position, a Filipina mother with 4 children under 15, with valid US VISAs, would you go to the US to get your children vaccinated?

There were times when I wondered how a particular couple survived years of being married to each other.  Because if I were in her position, I wouldn't last.  Then, it dawned on me... because we are different people.   So, is there really a secret to a successful marriage?   I am hardly THE person to give advice on this topic, so I am not handing out any advice.  However, I might be able to give some tips based on my observations.   First, know that what worked for others may not work for you.  Another couple's priorities, needs or quirks may be different from your own.  Understanding this is very basic and removes all other assumptions.  I used to wonder, how can this man take all this nagging from his wife?  My husband wouldn't have any of that.  That's because they are different people.  Values.  It would help if you and your spouse share the same values.  Having the same values will lead to fewer arg...

Today, Monday, I made some definitive decisions.  It has been a year since I joined the family business.  There was really no defined position for me.  I just volunteered and joined in because the person in charge was drowning.  Since then, I've been calling the shots.  I was making decisions, setting targets and boundaries, and collecting long-overdue payments.  I was doing damage-control.  This morning, I was asked for my position in the company.  I didn't know what to say.  Jokingly, my husband said "Chief Troubleshooter."  It seemed right at the moment.  However, it was too controversial for corporate relations, so I settled on a simple job title.  Operations Manager.  I do not want to continue being a reactive troubleshooter.  I realized that I want to be a proactive leader who will take this company to greater heights.  That is my first breakthrough. Also today, I took a step towards investing in myself and...

Our homes have been our refuge for the longest time.  Though I appreciate the comfort and security our family home gives my family, cabin fever is setting in. I really have that deep yearning to leave and explore.   I miss traveling.  I miss seeing beautiful places and trying new things.  I know we all do.  I miss the freedom that it gives me.  I miss it so much, it is making me weep.  Do you know that feeling that you want it so much but there is nothing you can do about it?   All I can do for now is acknowledge that THAT the time will come, eventually. ============= When that time comes, this is what I plan to do: Organize a trip to the US with my family and parents.  I would love for us to go together because we haven't done so before.  I would love for my parents to be reunited with their siblings in the States.  I can just imagine being with  A JUNK trip to Europe.  I haven't shortlisted which cities and cou...

I usually have a tolerance for stress.  I just cry it out and carry on.  But what cripples and weakens me is when someone close to me has a health issue.  This is my waterloo.  I guess, it is everyone's waterloo.   During this pandemic, I am scared of hearing the most dreaded news.  How do you prepare yourself for such an occurrence? How do you prepare your children for this?  How do you break the news to them? This is the ultimate heartbreaker.  Do you tell them to just cry it out and carry on? I apologize for such a depressing post.  

A couple of days ago, I had the urge to clean up my closet. Truth be told, I can no longer shut the closet doors. It is literally bursting at the seams.  It is calling for me to reorganize and discard unused items.  It took me the whole weekend to clear out 2 garbage bags of trash.  It was a difficult process because I really did not know how to deal with the discards.  I want to show you some of the items I found.  I found my hidden stash of lotions, beauty products, sanitizers from my 2008 US trip!  Nanghinayang ako.  These are a lot of stuff that I had forgotten about. I had intended to give these away as "pasalubong."  My mom brain got all fogged up, hence the 13-year old remembrance.  Needless to say, these ended up in the trash.   This shirt is from my first business trip to the US, back in 2006.  That was a fun trip.  I had the freedom to explore the midwest with some of my colleagues.  I spent weekends shoppin...

My second quarantine birthday is coming up.  I had a simple celebration last year.  This year won't be too different.  I didn't get to buy myself a decent gift last year.  This year, I will make up for it.  I had planned on having a birthday shopping spree.  But, with Covid cases on the rise, I decided to postpone that too. I currently lack the inspiration to bake and try out new recipes, thanks to on-going home renovations.  I figured, an online demo baking class will give me inspiration.  So, this morning, I attended a baking class as a gift to myself.  Hopefully, my kitchen gets fixed soon so I can try out the new recipes.  Watch out for those. 

I can feel it in my bones.  I have that tingly feeling that my plans are slowly unfolding and it is going to work out.  Do you get that feeling too?   Is that what they call manifesting?  ------------------------ The past year brought a lot of burden to all of us.  However, I do realize that the recent months have brought great things too.  Our prayers have been answered and are still being answered.  The hard work paid off too.  We just had to be patient and trust in His plans for us.  We also had to pay attention to the signs.   So, if you want something badly, pray really hard for it.  Be specific too so you'll never second guess it when your prayers are answered.

There are 7 people in our household, including our house help.  The burden of making each of our birthdays special falls on my shoulders.  7 out of 12 months in year, I plan a celebration for the birthday celebrant.  Then, factor in Christmas and New Year's Eve celebrations.  I usually bake a cake for these special days too.  This is really draining and I am running out of options.  During this time of pandemic, I plan meals 3x a day.  My children ask what we're having for the next meal when we've barely finished what's laid on the table.  I am fed up.  (Pun intended).  I am past the Pinoy, Japanese, Korean, Italian and Thai food cravings.   How I wish I can take my family out for a meal, where they get to decide what to eat. What irks me is my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.  I do not want to tire myself preparing for my own celebration.  I never bake my own birthday cake too.  I need ideas....

What is bliss?  We often hear it in phrases like "marital bliss" or "ignorance is bliss."  They say bliss is eternal happiness.  But for us living mortal lives, we know that isn't always true.  There are moments of happiness and unhappiness.   So, maybe, bliss is contentment.  "Steady lang," in our vernacular.  It is that stage in one's life when one realizes he/she received everything he/she prayed for. It's funny because it often comes with paranoia.  We wonder how long it will last.  

 "The events of my life are a coincidence."  I heard this in the latest KDrama I watched.  I couldn't understand it.   Coincidence is defined as " a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection. "   I find it hard to believe that all this is just a coincidence.  I know for a fact that things happen in our lives for a reason.  We may not realize it right away.  But decisions, no matter how small and simple, make a big difference in our lives. I had planned on doing errands this afternoon.  But, early this morning, we decided to go as soon as we finished breakfast.  If we decided to carry on with our original plan, we would've put ourselves at risk.  We would've been stuck in the middle of the PDEA operation in Commonwealth.   The more I think about it, there more I know that we are being led to safety by our Guardian Angels. That is not a coincidence.  

Happy New Year!  As you can see, I have decided to embark on this 51 List project.  I am not sure if I can commit to this weekly.  But to start off, I plan to be more deliberate in setting my goals for the future.  Here goes.... Week 1:  Goals and Dreams for the Year 1)  Better health for the whole family - less asthma attacks, wean off from maintenance medicines 2)  To lose 20 lbs this year 3)  To be able to travel with the family again 4)  To visit the Christmas markets in Germany  5)  To increase sales in business and to have more structured service plan 6)  To increase savings 7)  To eliminate if not lessen credit card debt