Cutty

There were times when I wondered how a particular couple survived years of being married to each other.  Because if I were in her position, I wouldn't last.  Then, it dawned on me... because we are different people.   So, is there really a secret to a successful marriage?   I am hardly THE person to give advice on this topic, so I am not handing out any advice.  However, I might be able to give some tips based on my observations.   First, know that what worked for others may not work for you.  Another couple's priorities, needs or quirks may be different from your own.  Understanding this is very basic and removes all other assumptions.  I used to wonder, how can this man take all this nagging from his wife?  My husband wouldn't have any of that.  That's because they are different people.  Values.  It would help if you and your spouse share the same values.  Having the same values will lead to fewer arg...

It was after dinner and we were settling down for bed.   I was alone caring for my children.   My husband hasn’t come home yet.   The yayas were finishing up downstairs.   They were fighting with each other once again. I no longer remember what caused it. I got fed up and decided to leave the bedroom.   I needed some peace and quiet.   They were all alone by their young selves.   I wondered how they would react to that.   It was the first time I walked out on them.   I was just outside, by the bedroom door, sensing if the fight would intensify or calm down. Then, there was silence.   I snuck a peek and saw my eldest lecturing the younger two.   He was talking to them calmly and quietly.   I remember he was telling them to stop fighting because it was upsetting Mama.   That made me smile.   That made me proud. This was when all my 3 elder children were not older than 5 years old.   I long for those peaceful moment...