Cutty

It was after dinner and we were settling down for bed.   I was alone caring for my children.   My husband hasn’t come home yet.   The yayas were finishing up downstairs.   They were fighting with each other once again. I no longer remember what caused it. I got fed up and decided to leave the bedroom.   I needed some peace and quiet.   They were all alone by their young selves.   I wondered how they would react to that.   It was the first time I walked out on them.   I was just outside, by the bedroom door, sensing if the fight would intensify or calm down. Then, there was silence.   I snuck a peek and saw my eldest lecturing the younger two.   He was talking to them calmly and quietly.   I remember he was telling them to stop fighting because it was upsetting Mama.   That made me smile.   That made me proud. This was when all my 3 elder children were not older than 5 years old.   I long for those peaceful moments.  Maybe, I should leave the room more often.  

The past week was difficult.  I portrayed all roles.  I was a home manager, teacher, baker, business manager, singer and negotiator apart from being a wife, a daughter and a mother.   I pour my my whole being in the roles I play.  This is why I feel frustrated and betrayed when the effort I put into a particular role isn't appreciated and properly acknowledged.  Here is a note to self, a reminder to value myself even if others forget, and to chose the people who will make me happy and feel valued.  I just have to let the others pass through.  

Temptation is everywhere these days.  It is getting harder and harder to hold on to our cash.  Online sales are happening every month.  Retail establishments in malls are trying hard to boost sales during this pandemic.  If you know me, you'd know that this it the ultimate time to test my EQ.   In the days leading up to the biggest holiday of the year, let us be mindful of our retail practices.  

I have always been a doer.  I am used to having too little time to do anything else.  Most of my adult life was spent juggling family life, work life and my "extra-curricular" activities.   This was my training since high school.  I'd spend half of my lunch hour and my Saturdays training for choir competitions.  In college, I'd rehearse three to five times a week for concerts and competitions.  I'd squeeze in choir admin work, school work and other relationships in between.  I learned to manage my time well and to work efficiently during those times.   I didn't do all those things without complaining.  Oh, I'd complain a lot. I'd cry when it gets too stressful.  I'd be very masungit.  But at the end of everything else, I get things done.  What I promised gets delivered.  You see results. I have been accustomed to this.  Somehow, I have the same expectations from people who work with me.  I expect colleagues to work efficiently and smartly.  It has