Cutty

Stress is a word I do not use lightly.  I am very careful when I use this word.  I do not acknowledge having it because I do not want it to overwhelm me.  Everybody undergoes stress.  It has good and bad effects.  Some people are more productive when challenged.  It becomes their motivation.  Some people react differently when under tremendous amounts of stress.  Stress causes hypertension, even cancer.  Some say it is due to the constant production of adrenaline. I used to eat stress for breakfast.  It has propelled me to do what I can do.  It has made me tough.  It may also be the reason I am mentally sound despite all these going on around me.  I can take it all in a stride and I rarely panic.  Hence, the superwoman version of me was born. But, the pandemic happened.  I got used to life with a different kind of stress, one that didn't involve the adrenaline rush.  I learned about mind spaces and settling ...

Vic and I would go on walks after dinner.  It is much cooler, less crowded and we can remove our masks.  We'd see houses and their Christmas decors.  We'd see nice trimmings that we'd like to add on to our own home some day. We'd also see houses that were flood-stricken, houses that seemed unable to recover from Ondoy and Ulysses. These days, it is not enough to have money to build your own house.  We have to set aside funds for upkeep and maintenance.  Owning a house doesn't end with building it.  The expenses never end.  There should also be Plan B for incidents that warrant emergency repairs.   It is a sad realization.  But, it is also a lesson worth remembering.  

This question has been on my mind lately.  I've been feeling unmotivated since the workweek started.  I was able to overcome them in the past.  Now, this feeling has been coming back quite frequently.  It lingers too.  Is this cabin fever?  Is this quarantine-fatigue?   I do not know. I've been racking my mind for an answer to this question.  Here is what I came up with... ...Change of scenery.  I think I need to get out of this routine for a little while.  I desperately want to travel but I get anxious when I am around "unprotected" people. ...Good food.  I need a feast for the eyes and for the soul. ... Chocolates and Coffee.  The sugar and caffeine didn't help. ...Exercise.  I need to tire myself out.  Maybe the fatigue will reset everything. ... Essential oils.  These have been effective for me when it comes to stress management.  I have yet to find the one that would perk me up. ... Shopping. ...

For weeks now, I've been trying to process these emotions that engulf me.  I do not know if these are just hormones.  I've felt immense anxiety, loneliness, gratitude, pride (the good kind), anger, relief.  Many times I've been offended by people's selfish and greedy ways that I just couldn't help bursting into tears.  It is difficult to process.  I always have a hard time understanding why such behavior exists. I do acknowledge these feelings, I do not disregard them.  I bring out my emotional oils and sniff them till I feel better.  Most importantly, I pray long and hard that I overcome these negative feelings right away.  This is the most effective of them all. 

With numerous resources out there, I do not really know if I am doing the right thing.  There are methodologies that I can not fully grasp, let alone apply in real life.  Am I being to hard on my children?  Am I neglecting their needs?  Am I being too strict?  I apply what is tried and tested.  I use the method that was applied to me.  I try to raise my children exposed to the reality that is out there.  I do not pamper them nor do I protect them from what is necessary.  They are exposed to hard work and chores.  They have their own anxieties. I do not have a career to speak off.  My children are my laurels.  To be told that they are nice and capable individuals is like receiving an Academy Award for parenting.  Di ako nagtataas ng bangko.  I am just grateful that the hard work is starting to pay off.  But, we still have a long way to go.  The hard work continues.

It has been a few days since my family got back from our vacation.  We are slowly and reluctantly going back to our routine.  I've barely adjusted to the time and I am itching to leave again. Does that happen to you too or is it just me?  This traveling thing is addicting. We get to experience life without responsibilities, work, bills, and just live the good part.  Who doesn't want endless sight-seeing, shopping, feasting and living la dolce vita ? But we can not escape reality.  For now, work is a necessity... necessity to fund my next leisure activity.  So, until the next trip.  Adios!

My birthday must have coincided with Good Friday at least twice in this lifetime.  I am not sorry that it happened that way.  I am quite pleased because I was forced to  focus on what is really important on that day.  It was so easy not to think about getting old.  It was one of the most significant, if not solemn, birthdays I've celebrated. I've been celebrating my birthday for three days now.   I guess people got sad for me because I had to fast and abstain on my birthday. We've celebrated my birthday the whole weekend, even up to Easter.  I've been fed well.  I've gifted myself well, too. _______________________ Easter as you know is a time of renewal.  I've made this the starting point of my own personal renewal.  I've decided to recondition my life.  Here's how. 1)  I'll take control of my health.  I am starting to feel a lot of aches and pains I haven't felt before. 2)  I will start preparing for ...

For the life of me, I can not imagine how some people can spend endlessly, as if they really pick money from the tree.   Do they really have deep pockets?  Do they have endless wealth?  Or, are they secretly drowning in debt? I guess, I was once like that.  Spending as if there is no tomorrow.  The desire to acquire was there.   The desire to have the best of life was there, at least, until life happened.  Now, there is the future to think about.  I am talking about educational plans, insurance payments, school fees, emergency funds to fill.   With four kids to think about, I can't spend a single hundred without assessing if it is a need or a want.  Sometimes, I forego of rewarding myself for the sake of this and that.  I have been doing this exercise for a couple of years now.  It was good for my EQ.  I am not heart-broken now that I don't have the latest "big" thing. I guess it is because I am more exposed...

Back when Vic and I were still a young couple, I felt that Valentine's Day was a big deal.  I don't mind if I don't receive flowers.  But, there has to be a special dinner.  Now that we have celebrations like annniversaries and birthdays too close to Valentine's Day, I felt it unnecessary and bothersome to celebrate.  With the cheesiness I see on TV and FB, it is starting to get very corny. Honestly, I feel that Mother's Day should be given more importance.  Hehehe.  Well, as we mature, our priorities change.  We became pratical too. Vic and I went on a pre-VDay night out with friends.  It was spent singing, drinking and catching up with friends.  It was a good night that lasted till the wee hours of the following day. On Valentine's Day, I did my usual thing.  I paid the spa a visit after an early morning singing engagement.  We brought the car in for some repairs.  After getting things in order, we shared a special meal...

Topaz Mommy wrote about one's fear of loving another child. It was never an issue for me.  There is always the capacity to love more.  My issue was giving each child enough attention and guidance. Could I handle it? With all these thongs happening in my life, how can I balance motherhood, being a wife, a business person and being myself? I try not to have favorites. I try to treat each child the same way. However, due to difference in personalities and birth order, I really feel that I am prone to have a favorite. Favorite pagalitan, favorite kilitin, et al.  Now that there's another baby coming, I worry again. How can I become a responsible parent to these blessings?  Only God can tell.  I am comforted by the fact that my kids love each other the way we showed them.  Seeing how these kids care for each other (when they are not fighting) tells me that I must be on the right track. 

To most Filipinos, leisurely traveling is equated to shopping.   If it were a frequently visited destination, I’d probably skip the tourist spots and head to the shops.   However, the past few weeks were not about visiting a frequented place.   Hence, each day was valued-packed with uncommon sights and experiences.   To give you an idea of how intense our two weeks were, here is our itinerary: Days 1 – 2:   Paris Days 3 – 5:   Provence Days 6 – 9:   Rome / Florence Days 10 – 13:   Amsterdam Days 14 – 15:   Paris This itinerary is not part of a package tour.   It is DIY, borne out of invites of several friends and our desire to cross off items in our bucket lists.   Isn’t it obvious, we wanted to maximize the cost of the trip? Despite the busyness of everything, we managed immerse ourselves into the local culture.   We ate the local food, rode the public transport, befriended the French and the Italians, and...

Everyday I am struck by stories of God's providence.  Each time, I am humbled by how simple others live and how much they are thankful for.  I am ashamed to admit, even to myself, that I always ask for more than what I need.  Yet, He still provides.  Now that our income has decreased because of investments not pulling through, I try not to worry and just trust that He will make a way to even out the injustice in this world. Karma Chameleon lang yan! To be fair to Him and to my husband (who works hard for the money), I try to live simply.  Every time I feel the urge to splurge, I ask if I need it.  You may have noticed that I haven't purchased anything of "value" this year.  Hooray for EQ!  Hooray for me! But, seriously, nakakahiya naman sa kanila noh!

The Lenten Season officially starts today. With so many things going on, I'd have to remember that it's also a day of fasting and abstinence. ------------------ I find it so troubling that people these days no longer trust the Church. They'd rather skip the priests and the sacraments and go directly to God. To many, this human aspect of the Church has been causing the indifference of many Catholics. These people believe in God but they do not believe in the structure that God Himself created. Masyado na ba tayong naging bilib sa sarili? Remember, THAT started the downfall of man. Let us remember that we also need this human aspect. When we have a big dilemma, we run to them. When we need a response from God, we seek theirs. When we need to hear that we're forgiven, don't we believe them? This human characteristic is there to provide guidance, to make a relationship with God more attainable and less mysterious. They may err on the implementation and may ha...

They always wanted the best. So, they bought the best. They could afford it anyway. They couldn't stand being second best or being left behind. Kung mahuli man, be ready to be upstaged. Kung anong uso, meron sila. But really, all this urge to acquire things merely covers up the loneliness and emptiness inside. Kung anu-ano nang meron sila, di pa rin sila masaya. Maybe they'll find joy and contentment in giving and sharing.

The system used to work for their advantage. They basked in the fame and glory it brought. Now that it brought inconvenience and sleepless nights, they fight to change it, to make it work for them again. ---------------- Gumaganti lang, naging bayani pa. Ang publicity nga naman.